


Sillage

by childofthenight2035



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Blood, Clubbing, Detective!Sehun, F/M, Murder, Murder Mystery, One Night Stands, Police officers, Reader as Y/N, Sehun POV, Serial Killers, Suggestive, Waitress!Reader, Zayn Malik - Freeform, but not descriptive, let me, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17039930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofthenight2035/pseuds/childofthenight2035
Summary: Sillage: the trace of someone’s perfume; the scent that lingers in the air when someone or something has been there and gone





	Sillage

I groaned out loud in frustration, pulling at my hair. I couldn’t believe it. After all those warnings, after everything we did, it still happened.

“Sehun-ssi.” My colleague’s voice reached my ears, barely above a whisper. The horror in those undertones pricked at my eyes and I squeezed them shut, not wanting to cry, even if it was just to vent. Her hand grasped my arm and, suddenly remembering her hatred of blood, I reached out behind me to avert her gaze. 

“You never really get used to seeing it, huh?” I muttered, taking her hand and leading her out of the room. 

Kang Minsoo. A successful journalist for the past ten years, he had recently developed a large head and been featured on tabloids himself, often in compromising positions with an array of women ready to please him. If he had just gotten his head out of the clouds….well, there would be no need for that anymore. 

Kang Minsoo’s dead body lay on his own bed, in his own apartment, his throat slit and his torso bearing multiple stab wounds, his bedsheets caked in dried blood.

His roommate was still shivering out in the living room. 

My department had received a call in the morning, soon after the old stray rooster had crowed. “Sir, this is an emergency, I’m Kang Minsoo’s roommate and I’m calling to report his murder, _Minsoo-ssi is dead_ ….” 

So naturally he was the first suspect. While the inspection went on in the bedroom, I sat him down on the sofa and questioned him. 

“Your name?” 

“Kim Dongwoo.”

“Age?”

“Twenty-four.”

 _Minsoo was nearly thirty-eight. Are the age gaps of all roommates so wide?_ A glance at my colleague, Jia, told me that she didn’t think it so unusual. I narrowed my eyes a little but didn’t press further.

“How long have you two been roommates?”

“Almost four years, sir.”

“Did you two have any other relation other than being roommates?”

Dongwoo looked lost. “I- I didn’t understand you, sir.”

Jia laid her hand on his shoulder, already making it clear to me that her intuition told her he wasn’t the culprit. “Has Minsoo ever helped you out, maybe financially?”

“Oh.” Dongwoo scratched the back of his neck. _A sign of embarrassment_ , I noted. “Well, um, he kind of adopted me as a charity case, if you get my meaning.”

I leaned farther back in my chair. “No, I don’t get your meaning. Elaborate.”

Dongwoo swallowed, possibly trying to hide his shame. “I was kicked out of uni because I couldn’t pay the fees. So when I tried to find a job, I met Minsoo-ssi and he offered me a deal. He would pay most of my fees but I had to type out his reports and articles.” I opened my mouth to comment, but the look on Jia’s face told me to stay quiet. 

“So you were here last night?” Jia asked gently.

Dongwoo shook his head. “No. I- I go to my sister’s house on weekends.”

“Why?” I interjected. “You seem quite embarrassed that you took up the deal. I would imagine that you’re too ashamed to tell your family.”

“My sister doesn’t know about the deal, sir,” a visibly red Dongwoo managed to say. “She only knows that I work part-time for Minsoo-ssi. I go to her place on weekends because nowadays Minsoo-ssi comes home drunk over the weekend after partying or something. And he’s…he’s scary when he’s drunk.” His voice cracked in the middle of the last sentence. I could only imagine what the boy had been through at Kang Minsoo’s hands.

A quick phone call to his sister verified his alibi, taking him off our suspect list.

As Jia comforted him, I asked, “You wouldn’t happen to know where he went last night, would you? Or who he was with?”

Dongwoo shook his head. “I’ve no idea, sir. I’m sorry.”

After instructing Dongwoo to remain at his sister’s until the case was solved, we sent him off in a police car and turned to the issue at hand.

I buried my face in my hands, letting out a heavy breath. 

“Sehun?”

“That’s three murders in five days, Jia,” I said without looking up. “I don’t know what to do.”

“They’re all similar, too,” she said, sitting back down next to me. “All middle-aged men, well-off, murdered in their bedrooms, presumably drunk. I’m sure it’s a woman.”

“They’ve all been killed differently,” I remarked. 

“Perhaps a ploy to throw us off,” she suggested.

“Not a well thought out ploy,” I countered. 

“Which makes me think they’re not planned murders.”

I glanced over at her in confusion. “Meaning? How are they not planned? This is the stuff of a serial killer.”

She leaned back against the sofa, deep in thought. “I mean to say that maybe she wasn’t planning on killing them until something happened that provoked her.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s how most cases of homicide happen, Jia.”

She pulled her feet up underneath her and leaned forward. “Set the scene, Sehun. He’s at a club or a bar. He meets this woman, hits off, brings her here. Unless she’s known him before, she doesn’t hold any grudges against him at this point. So either it’s case one, or he does something that leaves her no choice. Maybe he was rough, or he raped her or something. And you know very well that homicide for no reason is more marked in men than in women.”

“What’s to bet that the three of them hurt her before and she’s been planning revenge?”

“Serial murder by seduction? It’s possible, of course, but I wouldn’t say much, and if we can’t find any connections between them, I’d drop that idea.” Jia rocked slightly back and forth. “It’s such a loss that no one found out where the second one had gone to get drunk.” 

“He didn’t go to Paradisio,” I recalled. The loud, brightly coloured nightclub had been the last place Lee Seokmin, the first on the list, had gone before he was found dead in his bedroom the next morning. 

“I wonder where Minsoo was last night.” Jia stood up, but just then, the head of the operation, Detective Kim Junmyeon walked into the room, pulling his gloves off. I stood up in respect.

“Hopeful. I’m letting them continue,” he said gravely. “I will let you know if there are any further developments. I think your boss is waiting for you at the station.”

“Thank you, sir.” The two of us bowed, quickly turning to leave. 

-

“We should still keep our options open, though,” I said as I pulled into the parking lot of the police station. “In case it’s not a woman.”

“I’m pretty sure it is,” Jia responded, “but okay.”

“I’m convinced she’s just a psycho, like you said- murder by seduction.”

“I don’t think so, though.” She opened her door as I pulled the keys out.

“Jia, what do you base that on?” I stepped out of the vehicle and pointed at her. “Hey.”

“Intuition.” She shrugged, hopping quickly up the five steps that led to the front doors of the station.. “I feel like these were spontaneous murders, whether by the same person or not. They don’t seem planned. I just…don’t feel inclined to be harsh towards her.”

“Are you actually _sympathizing_ with the murderer?” I snapped, unable to believe my ears. I followed and slipped through the closing doors after her. 

“I’m not sympathizing,” she retorted, “I’m just trying to look at things from her perspective.”

“Intuition, again?” I sneered, sounding much ruder than I intended to. I regretted my tone the second the words escaped my lips. Her lips tightened. 

“A fat lot of good your logic is going to do,” she answered coldly. “The fact that they’re hopeful this time tells us she’s reckless and inexperienced. I’m going to stand by what I said- I don’t think they’re planned.” She turned swiftly on her heel and walked briskly towards her cube. I sighed. I had been stressing out so much this week. It was clear that the girl frequented a bar or a nightclub. But now- _how to find her?_

-

“Hey, Sehun.”

I swivelled around in my chair. Jia was walking towards me with a grim look on her face. My heart sank. “No luck?”

She shrugged. “The blood is all Kang Minsoo’s. There obviously wasn’t a struggle. They’re doing the rest. They’ll get back to us tomorrow. Or as soon as they finish.” 

“Oh, well.” I turned back to my computer. “That’s helpful.”

“They’re doing the best they can, Sehun.” She patted my arm. “We have to be patient.”

I shook my head. “It’s pathetic how lost we are. It’s a no-go from Paradisio. No one remembers seeing Seokmin. Clever, isn’t it? Plotting in a place where everyone is drunk and won’t recall a thing in the morning?”

“Well. Yes, I suppose.”

“Hasn’t anyone found out where Minsoo went?”

“Not yet. He didn’t go to Paradisio, anyway.”

“Three murders took off in three different places, most likely.”

She nodded. “Possibly.”

“And still you think it wasn’t planned? It looks an awful lot like she hunted them down.”

Jia was quiet for a while. “I don’t know what to make of it anymore. But I can’t imagine these three men connected in any way to any one woman, unless Minsoo was part of the mafia and Kim Jisoo was a public television figure.” 

“We might need to go trace their histories.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Jia remarked. “Pray the fingerprinting matches.”

“Hm.” I suddenly noticed a piece of paper lying on the ground near my foot. I bent to pick it up, tossed it in the trash can and then straightened, the crown of my head crashing into the underside of my desk. “Aagh!” I carefully emerged, rubbing the sore spot on my head. “Ow!” I could sense Jia trying not to laugh and it infuriated me to no end. “Hey, stop it!” I said loudly, spinning around to face her. The sound of glass shattering brought the entire station to a standstill. I realized that my chair had knocked over a paperweight from my desk. The other officers were craning their necks to see what the noise was about.

I brought my index fingers to my temples and massaged them, a headache already beginning to sprout. 

“Sehun-ah.” A broad hand clapped me on the back and I winced. Chanyeol. I looked up reluctantly and forced myself to smile. “Listen. You’ve been stressing out too much over these cases. You’re not going to come up with some miracle if you don’t have a clear head. So you know what? I’m taking you out tonight. And you’re going to come with me. No excuses.”

“But hyung, I-“ He covered my mouth.

“I said no excuses.” He let go of me and continued. “I already asked Minseok-ssi if we could come in later tomorrow morning because I wanted to take you out and relieve your stress. He looked at me kind of weird-“ he was suddenly interrupted by a loud giggle from Jia, “-but he said yes. So that’s decided.” I opened my mouth to try protesting one more time. “Ay, shut up. Listen to your elders.”

I bowed my head meekly. “Yes, hyung.”

-

 

I winced as Chanyeol gripped my upper arm and steered me towards the door of the club he had chosen to drag me to. I had paid for my comment on him wanting to go to a gay bar by being forced to spend my money on his drinks as well. The additional drive had hyped him to no end. The soles of my shoes were surely wearing thin as I tried to escape. 

The music blasted through the door the second it opened, rattling my very bones. My heart sank into my stomach. _How had I never known how strong Chanyeol is?_

“Sehun-ah!” he yelled into my ear. “Relax!” 

I bit my lip to stop myself from cursing. _Relax? How?_

I let him pull me over to a table, where he firmly grasped my shoulders and made me sit. “Ay, sweetheart!” He called out to a group of women near the counters who were dressed like waitresses. “Over here.” I smacked my palm against my forehead and dragged it down my face. _Why was he like this?_

One of the women sashayed over—actually, I was just overreacting, she walked normally—and planted herself in front of us. “What can I get you?” There was a note of exasperation in her voice. It gave me a reason to look up at her, curiously. 

She was seriously pretty- and then I felt ashamed. If Jia had taught me anything in the three years that I’d known her, it was to not objectify women. But she was gorgeous. The only thing that made her seem different to the others giggling at various tables was that she wasn’t even trying to flirt. She seemed tired, but of course, Chanyeol didn’t even notice. 

“A vodka martini and whatever Sehun wants. I’ll be right back, okay?” The last was directed at me and I nodded vaguely at him before he got up. 

“Yeah, martini, whatever,” she muttered. “And you?”

My focus snapped back to her as she looked down at me with sympathetic eyes. “Oh.” I cast my mind around for something. “Um—“

“Are you okay?” She asked abruptly. 

I stared at her. “What?”

“Are you okay?” she repeated. “You don’t look so happy. Let me guess— a breakup?”

I laughed out loud. “Honestly, I wish it was that simple.” I sighed, my expression morphing back into my usual stressed one. She tapped my arm.

“Would you like a table where it’s a little quieter?” 

I nodded. “Yes, please,” I said almost desperately. She gestured for me to follow her. We climbed the stairs to the next floor, away from the loud music and dancers. She spoke quietly to the bouncer person and he let us in. I glanced at the sign—VIP. 

“Am I allowed in here?” I asked in surprise. She turned back to me and smiled. 

“You are if I say you are.” 

I entered the area closed off to most people and immediately I sensed the difference. It was much less noisy than downstairs. _Things_ were going on, but it seemed to me in a more sophisticated way. _Does that even make any sense, Sehun?_

“Why me?” I asked as we approached a rather far corner. “Why are you helping me?”

She swung around with a coy smile that gave me butterflies. “You look like you needed it.” She sat down with me at one of the tables. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that. I don’t know—“

She gently laid her hand on mine. “It’s okay. It’s not like I’m going to tell anyone.”

I sighed deeply. “It’s a stupid case I’ve gotten caught up in.”

She tilted her head. “Are you an attorney?”

“No. I’m a detective in the police department.”

“Oh. That must be interesting. What are you working on now?”

I rubbed my free hand over my forehead, still aware of her hand, but liking the feeling of it there. “It’s the three murders that have happened last week. Kim Jisoo, Lee Seokmin and Kang Minsoo.” 

“Oh, I saw the papers.” She ran her thumb over my knuckles soothingly. “No luck catching the culprit?”

I opened my mouth to respond but the second I did, a lady slammed her hand on our table, scaring the wits out of me. 

“Why aren’t you working?” She snarled at my companion. She immediately stood up and bowed in apology. The woman pursed her lips and stalked away. 

She turned to me. “I’m so sorry, Sehun.”

I waved it off. “Don’t worry about it.”

She bent and whispered, her breath ghosting over my ear, “Don’t go. I’ll be right back. We’ll get rid of some of your stress, hm?”

The clear implications in the undertones caused a rush of excitement to shoot through me, much to my embarrassment. Her eyes flickered to my lips. With a small playful smile, she rose and twisted around to leave. With a kind of courage I didn’t know I had, my arm shot out and I seized her wrist. She gasped in surprise. 

“Tell me your name.” I couldn’t believe the effort it took to speak a sentence, but with the smallest gesture, she had already taken my breath away.

She giggled. “Maybe when I come back.” I barely noticed her pulling free and then she was gone. I was left with my despair, with only a tiny hope of what was to come. 

-

“Police yet to find culprit….No progress reported from the investigation team….Lee Seokmin’s family adamant to see results….what is this?” I asked myself, scrolling through the news on my phone. “Does no one care about the work we’re doing? There has been progress.” I let the device fall with a clunk onto the table, rubbing my eyes. All of a sudden, I felt hands covering them. 

“Throw that thing away.”

I pried her hands away, smiling and stood up to greet her. My breath hitched, all sense knocked out of me. She stood before me in a dress of pure magic. My gaze ran her up and down, trying to fully take in how mesmerizing she looked. _Black looks amazing on her, she’s so beautiful…_

“Take a picture, maybe it’ll last longer,” she joked. I laughed.

“Sorry, it’s just—“ I grinned sheepishly. “You look great.”

She winked and took my hand, inching closer to me, so close, so close that our bodies were barely apart. I was afraid she could hear my heart beating. She placed a hand on my abdomen, sending sparks shooting through me, and fiddled with my buttons. “Come dance with me,” she breathed. I didn’t protest. 

I let her lead me back downstairs to the dance floor, to a song I’d heard on the radio once or twice. Once we were well surrounded by other drunk bodies, she hooked her arms around my neck, staring at me suggestively. My mind went blank. Possibly from my lack of response, she looked amused and took my hands, placing them on her waist. I could barely hear anything over the music and my heartbeat. Her arms returned to my shoulders. 

Her fingers dragged through the hair at the back of my neck and a sudden jolt of arousal flooded me. I swallowed hard and pulled her closer. She smirked, clearly pleased that her action had such an effect. I could feel her breasts pressed against my chest through the thin fabric of my shirt. Images flashed through my mind, of the things I wanted to do with her. I knew I wasn’t supposed to think that way, but she was making it so easy. 

She swayed on the spot, occasionally guiding me to twirl her, the heat of her body never more than a second away. She caught me glancing down at her plump lips and bit them teasingly. _Damn, that’s so hot_ , I couldn’t help thinking. 

“Hey,” I spoke after a minute or two. “You never told me your name.”

She laughed. “You want to know? What for? You won’t see me after today anyway.”

My hand snaked lower, to her hips. “What if I will?” 

I must have taken her aback, because she paused. “Y/N.” I was unable to keep back a grin. 

 

I never took my eyes off her. We danced as the songs changed, my tension visibly and physically ebbing away. 

She grasped my tie, pulling me down to her height. The sweet smell of her flowery perfume reached my senses. She brought her lips to my ear. “ _Give me your body and let me love you like I do, come a little closer and let me do those things to you_ ,” she whisper-sang. 

I raised my eyebrows. “What?” She pointed to her ear and then up, telling me to listen to the song. _Oh_ , I thought, a bit dejectedly. _She was only singing the song? Which song is that? Hey, wait, I know this song….Let Me, isn’t it?_

“ _This feeling will last forever, baby, that’s the truth_ ,” she continued to sing softly to me, her voice laced with lust. 

“ _Let me be your man so I can love you_ ,” I finished, gazing deep into her eyes, hoping against hope that she understood what I wanted to say. Her eyes flicked to my lips. That was enough. 

I leaned forward and pressed my lips smoothly against hers. She didn’t pull away. Her lips were so intoxicating—the moment I kissed them, I never wanted to stop. I barely noticed her hands sliding up my torso. I gripped her hair, tugging lightly and she whimpered into my mouth. I couldn’t think of anything other than the wave of desire that little sound created. I deepened the kiss, daring to lick at her lips. She parted hers slightly and almost immediately, our tongues met. And then I knew what I wanted to say. Reluctantly, I broke away, smiling a little at the whine she let out. 

“Let me love you,” I murmured. 

 

I pressed her against the door of my apartment the second it closed behind us, kissing with a sort of feverish passion, relishing the taste of her citrus lip  
balm. She moaned when my lips moved to her neck, quickly finding a sweet spot and nipping at it with my teeth. She pulled at my tie and I straightened up. Her deft fingers undid the knot and dropped it onto the floor, where it lay curled up like a cobra, ready to spit venom. Neither of us paid any attention. We were only concerned with ripping each other’s clothes off. My lips found hers again.

“Sehun,” she gasped, lust clouding her hooded eyes. “Please.”

-

“Sehun?” 

“Hm?”

“Are you relaxed yet?”

I chuckled and adjusted myself so that I faced her. One of her hands clutched the bedsheet to her chest, the other traced patterns on mine. I gently brushed a lock of hair away and she closed her eyes, enjoying the attention. 

“Well, now you’ve gone and reminded me of it, haven’t you?” I answered. 

“Are you guys that far from making progress? The media isn’t going easy on you.”

I groaned. “Don’t remind me.” I didn’t want to remember the headlines. “It’s not even fair. We might have the culprit by tomorrow. We just need to get the results back.” 

“You found fingerprints or something?” She shifted around and lay her head on my shoulder. “That’s good.”

“I’m not sure what they found, but they say they’re hopeful.” I sighed, thinking about tomorrow. I hope they’ve matched something. And I hope the woman is on file. “We might get lucky tomorrow. What I can’t understand is the reason why.”

“Why they were killed, you mean?”

“Yeah. Jia’s sure it’s a woman.”

She glanced up at me. “Jia?”

“She works with me. Her intuition says it’s a woman, and I must say, the signs point to that, too.” I ran my free hand through my hair. 

“It’s going to be okay. You’ll solve it. I have immense faith in you.” 

I smiled softly. “When can I see you again?”

She stilled. “You can see me anytime at Essence.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

Nervous, I tried to calm my already increasing heartbeat. “What if I offered you dinner?”

Silence.

“Sehun,” she spoke slowly, “you’re not asking me out, are you?”

I swallowed. _Had that been a bad move?_ “What if I am?”

“Sehun, I don’t—I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

My heart sank. “Why? Is it because of—“ I hesitated. She sensed what I had been going to say.

“Because of my job?” she completed quietly. I didn’t respond. “That’s part of it.”

“But you don’t have to,” I tried again. “You know that, right?” 

“I have to live, Sehun.” She squeezed my waist. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think it’s going to work out. I wish. But I don’t know.”

“You can always find another job,” I pressed. “I’ll help you.”

“Sehun, I’m sorry.” It came out as barely above a whisper and I got the impression that she was trying not to cry. 

“Hey, hey,” I ran my fingers through her hair in an attempt to comfort her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s—it’s okay. I’ll come by tomorrow. We can, you know, talk.”

She let out a watery laugh. “This is talking, is it, what we’ve been doing?”

“Well, I mean, that’s up to you. I’m not going to force you to talk or not talk.”

She smacked my chest lightly. “Sleep now. You have work tomorrow.”

“Actually,” I replied, kicking the bedsheet away and hovering over her, “I think I have a little more stress to release.” 

-

I stirred from my slumber, awoken by movements off to my side. “Y/N?” I heard slight sniffling and propped myself up. “Are you crying?” Suddenly I was slammed back down onto the mattress, hands yanked towards the bedposts. “Y/N, what the—“ Pain shot through my wrists. I felt her tying my hands securely to the bedframe. I tugged at the restraints in confusion, still drowsy from sleep. “Y/N, what are you doing?” She released her hold after tightening the knot one more time. Wordlessly, she moved to the other end of the bed and held my ankles together to tie them as well. I caught a glimpse of her face. Her mascara had run and tear tracks glinted on her cheeks. 

She looked up once she had finished. “Y/N, I don’t understand, what’s going on? Why am I tied up?”

She took a deep breath and it occurred to me that she was drawing courage. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I didn’t want to do this, but I have no choice.”

Alarm bells went off in my head. “Y/N, what are you talking about?”

“You don’t deserve this, Sehun,” she continued. “But you are too close, _too_ close. I can’t risk that. I have to.”

I started to struggle within my bonds. “Y/N, untie me, please. I’m not sure what you’re talking about but we can solve this, okay? Y/N! Please untie me! _Right now!_ ”

From the bedside table, she drew out a silver knife—mine. My blood ran cold. And then I understood what she meant—too close, _too close_.

“Y/N!” I yelled. “What are you doing?! Put that away! Let me go! Y/N, _you don’t have to do this_ , I’ll let you go, _I promise you!_ Y/N, _please!_ ” I tore at my restraints desperately.

She began to sob. “Sehun, I’m sorry, _I’m so sorry!_ ” 

“ _Y/N, please!_ ”

I could barely make out what she was saying. “I’m sorry, _so sorry,_ Sehun!”

I could only watch in horror and panic as she raised the knife above her head and brought it down over my heart.

 

“No!” My eyes flew open and I sat bolt upright, a hand over my pounding heart. 

“Sehun?” Y/N spoke from my side. She sat up beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I noticeably flinched and she quickly withdrew it, looking bewildered. “Sehun, a-are you okay?”

I breathed deeply, in and out, in and out. I saw her reaching a hand out cautiously and this time, I didn’t cower. 

“It’s okay, Sehun,” she whispered, rubbing my back reassuringly, dabbing at the sweat beading on my forehead with a tissue from the bedside table. “Nightmare?”

I nodded shakily. “Stress, I think. I’m okay.” She took my hand and I saw the concern she had in her eyes. I was immediately comforted. I relaxed into her touch and led her cradle me. She wrapped her arms around me as I tried to lull myself back to sleep. 

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?”

I knew she must be smiling in that amused way. “Go back to sleep, Sehun.”

 

-

I woke up to blinding light from the window and yelped, rolling over away from it. _I must have forgotten to close the curtains?_ And then I saw that the bed was empty. 

I sat up, no longer sleepy, feeling an ache in my heart that I couldn’t describe. _Of course she wouldn’t have stayed. Does that mean she doesn’t want to see me again?_ I’d only known for her for a night, but already I couldn’t fathom not seeing her ever again. I swung my legs over the side of my bed, deciding that I would go back tonight. 

I exited the bathroom and almost at once, the smell of something burning reached my nose like a slap to the face. My heart nearly stopped. _Is the apartment on fire?!_ I dashed out to the living room, found nothing, then ran to the kitchen and stopped in my tracks.

“Y/N?” 

She turned around with a shy smile, waving a spatula. “Good morning, Sehun.”

I laughed, my spirits suddenly lifting. “I thought you left.” 

She shrugged. “I didn’t feel like it. I borrowed your shirt by the way.” A blush crept into my cheeks. _Does that mean anything?_

I walked forward to where she stood making what I assumed to be pancakes. I wrapped my arms around her waist, wanting to drown in her. “Take my hand, take my life too,” I murmured. “For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

“Someone’s needy today,” she commented, jest in her tone. “Weren’t you needy enough last night?”

“You smell so good,” I mumbled. _And you belong in my shirts._

“You like pancakes?” 

“Mmm.” I buried my face into her neck, peppering kisses along her shoulder. She squirmed. 

“Sehun, shouldn’t you get dressed and eat? Don’t you have work?”

I tightened my hold. “I can go in later today.”

“Sehun, let go. I’m hungry.”

We ate breakfast in mostly silence, exchanging playful glances, but it was clear that both of us were thinking about yesterday night’s conversation. I didn’t want her to leave, but she had made it clear that she wouldn’t let me take care of her. 

“Oh, no,” she choked out. “Is the time on that clock right?”

I twisted in my seat to see the dining room wall clock. “Um. Yeah. It was last time I checked.”

“Then I’m late.” She scooped up her plate and set it in the sink, before rushing to gather her things. She was halfway to the door when I stopped her. 

“Wait.” I paused. “Can I see you tonight?”

She smiled sympathetically. “Of course you can.” She pattered back to me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I caught her before she pulled away and let it intensify for a whole five seconds, the taste of her lip balm reminding me of last night. We broke apart. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I really am. For everything. I really need to go now.” 

And I let her. I let her walk out of my apartment and slam the door shut. I let her walk out of my life and I let her break my heart. But oddly, I didn’t regret it. 

 

My phone pinged loudly and I picked it up. It was a message from Jia. 

_I know you can come in later, but I think channie is dead or something  
theyre going to send the report around eleven, come in if you want to see it_

“Sure thing, Jia,” I muttered. “Oh my way.”

-

“Where’s the report? Did it come yet?” I asked, walking around to Jia’s cubicle.

“Not yet,” she replied, her eyes glued to her screen. 

“So I’m not late.” I tugged my jacket off and draped it over her chair. 

“So what on earth happened last night?” she asked curiously. “The heck happened to Chan? You wreck him?” 

“What the—“ I flicked the back of her head. (“Ow!”) “Why would you say that? And I don’t know what happened to him, I didn’t see him after we got in the club.”

“You don’t think our little lady got him too?” Jia asked.

“HEY! No progress at all?”

I grimaced as Chanyeol’s loud voice filled the office. “Honestly? I wish she did.”

Jia grinned at me and turned back to her computer.

“Sehun!” I rolled my eyes as Chanyeol sauntered over. “Where did you go last night? I was looking for you!”

I was mortified. “Say it a little louder, will you?”

“Guys!” Jia interjected. “They sent the report. Shut up.”

Both of us watched in rapt attention as she opened the email, brushed through the message that Detective Junmyeon had for us, and then opened the document containing the report. The statistics of their findings filled the first three pages. 

“It says her prints and DNA was on file from a rape case seven years ago,” Jia said incredulously. “That’s a lot of digging.”

“Who is she?” Chanyeol asked impatiently. Jia scanned the file.

“Uhh….name, name….Y/F/N.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Keep scrolling down.” Jia obeyed. Towards the end of the document there was an image that had just begun to load. Jia paused. The image crept down a little more, then halted for a full thirty seconds before jumping to fully loaded. I let out a yell and leapt back, pointing at the screen in horror.

 _No_ , I thought desperately. _No, no, no!_

Y/N. 

The picture was taken years ago, but it was clear. _Y/N?_ My nightmare seeped back into my mind and bile crawled into my throat. I clapped a hand over my mouth and stumbled to the bathroom, head spinning. I wrenched open the lid of the toilet and collapsed to my knees, puking my entire breakfast into it. _The breakfast she had made for me._ I couldn’t hear over the blood pounding in my ears. 

“Sehun-ah!” I vaguely registered someone coaxing me but I pushed them away. _No, no, NO! This can’t be happening. Not—not her. Please. Let it be a mistake. Please._

My stomach still convulsed and I retched, but calmed myself. Still dizzy, I staggered to my feet, clutching the sink for support. Arms reached out to steady me, but I shoved them out and closed the door. 

_How? No, this can’t be possible!_ No, no, “NO!” I yelled. “NO! Why, why, WHY!” I burst into tears. “Why?” I slid to the floor, sobbing, absolutely wrecked. But— _how could she?_ “I love her,” I choked. “She was so beautiful.” I pulled at my hair. “Why, why? WHY!” I sat against the wall, tears streaming down my face, body shaking as I wept. I finally stood up on wobbly legs. Hands on the sides of the sink. I gazed into the mirror at my broken reflection. 

“Why am I alive?” I whispered. “Why am I alive?”

I stared into my own bloodshot eyes. 

“Sehun! Please come outside. I don’t understand.” Jia’s voice floated through the door. “Sehun?” She knocked twice. “Sehun, please.” I ignored her calls and washed out my mouth. 

The taste of citrus was still on my lips.

-

“Where is Y/N?” Chanyeol demanded. 

We were back at Essence. The bartender was thoroughly taken aback by our assertive entrance. He held up his hands.

“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He glanced to his sides as if asking for help. 

“I think my question was clear,” Chanyeol spat. “Where is Y/N?”

The man—no, he was barely a man—looked terrified. “Sir, I don’t know anyone named Y/N.”

“Don’t lie to me!” Chan snarled, slamming his hand on the counter. “She works here, how can you not know her?”

“I’m new here, sir,” he whimpered. “I don’t know everyone yet. I can get you the head waitress. Should—“

“Yes, go get her,” Jia interrupted. He dashed out of sight and returned a moment later with a busty woman who looked around thirty. 

“Can I help you?” She asked briskly. 

“We’re looking for Y/N,” Jia told her. “She’s a waitress here.” She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“”I’m sorry, we don’t have any Y/N working here,” she replied. 

Jia looked puzzled, but then drew the picture from her pocket. “I’m talking about this girl.”

Recognition dawned on the woman’s face. “Oh, Stardust. Her name is Y/N? I never ask. We go by pseudonyms here. Obviously.”

“Just tell me where she is!” I finally burst out. 

“Oh.” She seemed surprised. “She resigned today morning.” 

I couldn’t speak. 

“She _what?_ ” Chan yelped. The head waitress didn’t take her eyes off me. 

“Are you Sehun?” she abruptly asked. 

I was shocked. “Yes. I am.” 

“She asked me to give you a message if you ever came here asking for her,” the woman said, sympathy in her expression. “I’ll get it.” She retreated to her room but was back soon, carrying a cardboard box. She handed it to me without a word. 

I set the box on the counter and ripped the tape off. My heart broke all over again. I tentatively reached into it and withdrew the shirt she had worn that morning. My shirt. I tossed it back into the box, close to tears when a piece of paper fluttered to the floor. I bent and picked it up. It was tightly folded, as if it was afraid to reveal what had been written in it. I clenched it in my fist, not wanting to open it in front of the rest. 

The woman was still watching me closely. “She was crying, you know.” I looked up at her. “When she came in this morning. She was in a terrible state. Were you two….” 

“No.” I turned away, hoping she wouldn’t see my hurt. “We weren’t.”

 

-

 

_Take my hand, take my whole life too  
For I can’t help falling in love with you._

_I’m sorry, Sehun. There isn’t going to be a day when I don’t regret what I did to you. When you said you were the detective investigating the case, I wanted to kill you, too. But you loved me, Sehun. You treated me like I deserved to be loved. I wanted to kill you, but I couldn’t. You were too good to me. I cried myself to sleep last night because of what you asked me, and I thought to myself, if I hadn’t gone mad, couldn’t I have been happy with you? But it wasn’t meant to be, Sehun. I’m sorry. I’m gone. I don’t deserve you at all. You won’t find me again, so I’m not scared to tell you this—I would have loved you too._

_Y/N_

 

I crumpled the paper and held it over the railing of the bridge, over the water, but didn’t release it. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Let it go, Sehun.” Jia’s voice held a touch of melancholy. “Let it go.” 

I took a deep breath. And then dropped it.

The perfumed wind caught it and carried it far over the currents. I watched it kiss the water and finally sink beneath the surface. 

_Let it go, Sehun. Just let it go._

_She was beautiful._

_She never existed._

-


End file.
